My Lil Abel

On 29th May 2012, 2 days to our (me and my husband) important date we lost something important to us. We lost our unborn baby who is 18wks.  I was admited to Skei Hosp later refered to Sibu Hosp because the quantity of liquid in the placenta is too little for the baby. Before even checked by the specialist to check on me, to find solution (I hope) or to find reasons for the problem, I lost my baby. It was 3.05 am when my husband n mom arrived from Sarikei. I told them I want to pee. When I tried 2 pee, no urine but I can feel something is coming out from my servic. Quickly told my mom, we inform a doc n she help me 2 deliver my poor baby.
At 3.15 he came out from me alive but after few moment died. I saw him. I want to see him so that I will remember I have a boy. I have a boy. Keep on telling him I love him. Even for 4 mths I love him. We love him.
I want him badly 2 stay alive so that i can watch him growing up before my eyes. I wanting it so bad 2 see him running around the house with her sister Abigail. I want him.
But, i can't have him.
God want my boy also. He want my baby 2 be with Him in heaven. He prepares the best place for my boy even much better than mine.
I love him but i know Jesus love him more.
Now i have to learn to let go. To feel the emptiness when my boy is no more inside me.
Learn to commit more to God, letting Him taking control over everything I have.
During this difficult time, I have many ppl praying n supporting me
Prayers of comfort n peace really take control. I have strength, comfort n peace.
I do cry. Many times... But I also have God 2 lean on.

God, I thank You for Your peace n comfort. Thank you Jesus 4 Your love.
Please take care of my lil Abel.

I wrote this as a remembrance of my lil Abel.

Lord, my God.
Oh how I wish to see my lil Abel.
To grow up before my eyes.
To see him running around the house chasing after his sister Sarah.
How I wish to hold him in my arm, to love him with all my heart.
How I wish to know him better.
But Jesus, I don't have the opportunity.
To see him, to touch him and to love him.
You call him took him home so early.
I don't know You reason but I do believe.
Your reasons is not to condemn but because of love.
Lord,
I pray God that You will pass this message to him.
That his mommy n daddy love him very much.
We cherish the moment when he is in mommy's womb.
Love him n love him n love him.
Every moment we love him.

And Lord,
As our heart are full of sadness from our lost.
We ask You to fill our heart with joy, peace n comfort.
Give us strength to move on.
Lead us in Your perfect way.

Fresh Start

I has been a while since I update my blog. Not sure my excuses are coz there are many reasons why I didn't update my blog. One of it Facebook... So here i am trying my best 2 update it... This will be my Special Diary for life... Hope one day my children and my grandchildren read it...

Malaysian Christians

Mari kita berdoa.

Bapa kami di Sorga, (Heavenly Father in Heaven)
Engkau sahaja dimuliakan dan ditinggikan, (You are exalted high)
Kami datang kepadaMu, (We come before You)
Ampunkan segala dosa kami, (Forgive us our sin)
Apa pun kesalahan kami, (What ever wrong doing that we have done)
Sucikan kami hati kami, (Cleanse our heart)
Supaya kami layak dihadiratMu. (So that we can come before You)

Bapa, (Father)
Pada masa ini kami datang kepadaMu, (In this time, we come before You)
Kami datang bersujud kepadaMu, (We bow before You)
Engkau sahaja sumber perlindungan kami, (You are our protector)
Jauhkan kami daripada kemusnahan, (Protect us from disaster)
Dekatkan kami kepadaMu, (Drag us near you)
Berikan kami kekuatan, (Give us the Strength)
Berikan kami hati yang mengasihi, (Give us a loving heart)
Berikan kami hati yang sabar, (Give us patient heart)
Supaya kami terus mengasihi mereka yang membenci kami, (That we love those who hate us)
Supaya kami bersabar terus dalam pergolakan dunia kini. (To be patient in uncertainty)

Hanya kepadaMu sahaja ya Bapa,
Tempat kami berlindung,
Tempat kami bergantung.

Selamatkan Malaysia kami,
Supaya kami boleh tinggal bersama walau kami berbeza,
kerana kami ada Engkau yang sentiasa mengasihi kami.

Terima kasih ya Bapa,
Terima kasih ya Yesus,
Terima kasih Roh Kudus,
Amen.

BORNEO CULTURAL FESTIVAL SUCKS

What a day...
Sad to be Borneon lah....
why? Borneo Cultural Festival a.k.a BCF sucks
Today me, my friend and 2 students of mine went to Sibu to check on BCF and sadly it's sucks...
Pity all Borneon because BCF doesn't reflect Borneo at all.....
As if i was visiting Hong Kong or Shang Hai or Taiwan....



I just don't get BCF????
Where is the princip of one malaysia by our beloved PM Tan Sri Najib???
The stall opened also funny...
as if u were in fun fair....
Kanowit's funfair is even better....
So friends if you were thinking of coming 2 sibu for this BCF, better don't...
some more they openly sell coral stone.... batu karang...



batu karang kan sik boleh d jual...
takut pupus dak coral dlm laut ya...
apa lah sik bijak a.k.a dadak...

Malas dan menyesal pegi sia...
buang masa aja... konon mau emba budak tengok budaya sarawakian tapi kecewa lah...
tangga gerai main tikam buat apa...
emba trektor lah tayar lah kereta import lah...



entah apa mau di tunjuk dak sibu tok kat org putih ya...
anak2 kita pun sik kenal budaya org tempatan...
bila kelakar sik besopan sebab sik tauk budaya orang nak...
suka hati aja... bagus tukar nama...
iboh guna BCF... guna lah nama lain.....
hina rasa nya....

Back from ulu

Tired but need to do something about my blog...
my friend upset with this but now i'm more focus on my facebook...

today as usual, feel tired after my long journey from school...
this week we were quite busy with our sport's day preparation....
this week also 2 of our students possessed by 'something' we called bad spirit...
as usual typical iban sure cari bomoh first...
i don't know why even when we called ourselves Christian, we still seek help from devil...

but both was said dah sembuh recovered...

thanks God only 2....

Apa pun susah nak ubah orang kan terutama yg degil...

Flood and Landslide vs Gaza's issues

What i am going to say here not to influence others but this is what i think my own opinion.
Sarawak hits by flood and worsen by incidents of landslide. Thousands were effected and still living in fear. At the same time Israel and Palastine are in war.
What i disagree about us Malaysian we care more about others and not our own people.
Yeah... sure the YBs busy trying to help but what can they do when others mind have others mission.
Who is going to help our people if not us. Would they come here and help us if the same thing happened to us? I hope yes. Because that how world should be isn't it.
Every morning when i turn on my TV watch news all i heard how we hate Israel and i sometimes questioned myself.... We help palastine because we hate israel??? I don't know but maybe.
Every time i turn on the TV i wanted to know how was Miri or Bau, Kuching. How was the flood or how was the landslide. But i heard nothing about that but more on hatred. I hate this i hate that and bla.....
Where are the reporters when there is so many incident happened in our own door step?
This is me and my own point of view and i have no intention to force others to accept how i think.

Love your neighbours and your enemies too???
Ouch.... if its me i know i can't but what to do that is what God teach us.... Right???
Not to hate others because they are also God's creation.
i wish i could.....

UUM SIntok Kedah

Hello friends….

Now I’m in UUM sintok Kedah.

The environment not much different from Sarawak. When you walk around you think that you are in Sarawak. Why? Because so many of us that every where you go you will meet them and chat around as if as you are in Sarawak.

Some more my neighbors in hostel are all from Sarawak and Sabah.

sempat ambil gambar ni...

The only how you know you are not in Sarawak when you go to café or restaurant anywhere UUM. Why? Because the food are very hot and spicy. I cried all the time… hahhhaaaa…… terharu lah org Kedah masak untuk kita..

Banyak kan makanan yang kita boleh makan kat sini...

ikan je boleh masak banyak jenis.. sedap dan pedas

Second, the drinks are so sweet. ‘Adik, kurang manis ok.’ Then bila siap still sangat manis… emmm…

Diet??? Cancel jak eh….